I haven't updated in a while...sorry about that. I guess I haven't had much to really talk about. Last friday Trent, Cendrique, and I (hows that for proper English! haha) went to Chase and signed up. I guess they are going to call us sometime this week or soon when they find an apartment and we'll sign the lease and everything's all gravy. "Dam* Riggs about time!" yeah yeah I know I know....you can all stop saying that now! haha...Part of the reason I was going to go to school down in Florida was to be on my own. Since everything there fell apart now seems like a good as time as any. Besides...if I fall on my face i'm 10 mins from home. I'm not leaving home because of anything bad or whatever, I just wanna be out of the house...and like I said...any problems come up, I still have home to come to!
A friend e-mailed me and asked me a crap ton of hard questions. Sorry haven't had time to e-mail you back. But here was one that stood out to me. In essence he asked if I was serving God with my life, giving etc...my answer to that is actually pretty simple. Yes, and no. Yes because I still believe in him and am trying to live right. No because I basically hit the breaks, stopped everything and am piecing it all back together. Going to a Christian school has it's pro's and cons. I was forced to write papers, essays etc, do tests, debates, memorize scripture and all the above. Problem with that was, you just regurgitate(sp?) everything they want you to and you pass the class. For one, who's to say the author or the teacher were nec. right? I also got burned out doing journals every day, reading the bible then writing stuff about my life and getting a grade for it. So basically I'm trying to piece all of what seems to make sense back together, while going to school full time and working. Another thing, I hate living in fear of what everyone else thinks or sees in me or about me. I asked my mom one time if she ever felt like she was on a stage and people were examining her and scrutinizing what she said and did and when something she did didn't add up as they saw it, they jumped all over her. She said no. That, to me, was really odd. All my life I've always had to live up to this code. The teachers couldn't see me make any mistakes, no pastor could think of me as anything but the good guy I am, or wanted to be. Parents always trust me which brings responsibility. No room to fall down and get back up again! The major reason I'm so shy is because people generally know me to be that way. The more opinions I have and come forth with the more people disagree and label me. Why give someone the chance to hurt me? Just keep my mouth shut, if someone is genuinely ineterested in meeting me they will come over...it hurts, it sucks but seems to work.
I'm starting to see just how crazy this world can be. This month most of my friends are being and doing some REALLY crazy stuff. Getting knocked up, rushing to get married. You don't talk to someone for a little while and all of a sudden they are pregnant and married will give you a little shell shock. One friend in jail for Indecent liberties with a minor, another out on bail for same thing and might serve up to 5 years in jail. Another friend just found out his g/f was pregnant. ALL THIS FRIGGIN' month!!! Kinda just puts you on guard when all your friends are getting picked off around you. Trent and I were talking about this the other day. It's like we are in a war, a bomb goes off by us and everyone we are with were blown up but us...in a blink of an eye it's all different. You think tomorrow will be no different than today....you make plans for all our busy "stuff" and before you know it, it could all go away. God says in James not to worry because we don't even know what tomorrow brings. Pretty deep line that you don't think about until you really realize how true that statement is.
"You want to be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling.That's true greatness to me. - Elizabethtown
Better get some sleep....
Take it easy...
Riggz
A friend e-mailed me and asked me a crap ton of hard questions. Sorry haven't had time to e-mail you back. But here was one that stood out to me. In essence he asked if I was serving God with my life, giving etc...my answer to that is actually pretty simple. Yes, and no. Yes because I still believe in him and am trying to live right. No because I basically hit the breaks, stopped everything and am piecing it all back together. Going to a Christian school has it's pro's and cons. I was forced to write papers, essays etc, do tests, debates, memorize scripture and all the above. Problem with that was, you just regurgitate(sp?) everything they want you to and you pass the class. For one, who's to say the author or the teacher were nec. right? I also got burned out doing journals every day, reading the bible then writing stuff about my life and getting a grade for it. So basically I'm trying to piece all of what seems to make sense back together, while going to school full time and working. Another thing, I hate living in fear of what everyone else thinks or sees in me or about me. I asked my mom one time if she ever felt like she was on a stage and people were examining her and scrutinizing what she said and did and when something she did didn't add up as they saw it, they jumped all over her. She said no. That, to me, was really odd. All my life I've always had to live up to this code. The teachers couldn't see me make any mistakes, no pastor could think of me as anything but the good guy I am, or wanted to be. Parents always trust me which brings responsibility. No room to fall down and get back up again! The major reason I'm so shy is because people generally know me to be that way. The more opinions I have and come forth with the more people disagree and label me. Why give someone the chance to hurt me? Just keep my mouth shut, if someone is genuinely ineterested in meeting me they will come over...it hurts, it sucks but seems to work.
I'm starting to see just how crazy this world can be. This month most of my friends are being and doing some REALLY crazy stuff. Getting knocked up, rushing to get married. You don't talk to someone for a little while and all of a sudden they are pregnant and married will give you a little shell shock. One friend in jail for Indecent liberties with a minor, another out on bail for same thing and might serve up to 5 years in jail. Another friend just found out his g/f was pregnant. ALL THIS FRIGGIN' month!!! Kinda just puts you on guard when all your friends are getting picked off around you. Trent and I were talking about this the other day. It's like we are in a war, a bomb goes off by us and everyone we are with were blown up but us...in a blink of an eye it's all different. You think tomorrow will be no different than today....you make plans for all our busy "stuff" and before you know it, it could all go away. God says in James not to worry because we don't even know what tomorrow brings. Pretty deep line that you don't think about until you really realize how true that statement is.
Better get some sleep....
Take it easy...
Riggz
posted by Riggz at
10:05 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home