The life of "Riggs"

Wow

2007-01-10T12:59:00.000-06:00

Not having to work until 4 I spent some time today looking around on some of my friends' myspace pages. One of them caught my eye due to the following, "Will I ever be the girl in the song on my profile? Will anyone ever feel that way towards me? Only time will tell." The song on her profile was "Everything to Me" by Brad Paisley. I can't say I'm a huge Country Music fan but that song was pretty tough to swallow. I wish I had an answer for her question. Problem is I struggle with the same feelings. My question for everyone else is this...how does a beautiful girl with a ton to offer fall through the cracks? Of course God has it all under control, I guess I just don't understand... To my friend...keep your head up and know you are a quality girl waiting, NOT missing out on, a quality guy.

Peace

Argh

2006-12-12T12:42:00.000-06:00

Another fun semester is over...I missed the ServSafe (yes that is how it is spelled) final by one freaking percent. Passing is 75% and of course I'm the one that gets 74%. So I got to pay 46 bucks to have them send me another answer sheet so I can re-take it...Why is it always an up hill battle...Everyone else I know doesn't have amazing grades but stays in school...me, I mess up once and I might possibly be screwed.....:-(

Judging

2006-12-06T14:30:00.000-06:00

"have an open mind" "don't judge other people" you hear it everyday. I heard someone say one time that studies are showing judgments being "earned" within 20 seconds of meeting. To me thats borderline ABSURD! But think about it, how you carry yourself, walk, posture, talk all describes who you are, how you feel, what kind of person you are etc. So when you meet someone they are "in tune" to the "vibes" (the things listed above) that you are giving out. I learned in class that females are more in tune to those things than males are. Greeeaaaatttt....:-)

Thanks...

2006-12-05T23:34:00.000-06:00

Thanks to those that commented on my last post! Much appreciated. I know that comparing my life to some super rich people on MTV is absurd. I'm not sure what I was trying to portray came out. Out of the things I do in life, how do I add as much fun and WORTH into the everyday normal "blah" of my life. I've lately been asked "so what's new?" or "what have you been up to?" Those are normal questions you ask someone you haven't seen in a while but my answer is always the same! School/work. I know that is normal for a college kid but I want more than that...is that unattainable for a college guy?

Went to the KSU game tonight! They started off a little rusty but finished very strong! Jason Bennet actually played with emotion and didn't look lost!

2006-12-03T00:20:00.000-06:00

Is it possible to have great days most days. To live to the fullest everyday and be satisfied when you fall asleep. MTV is a horrible thing to base life off of but lately I've been watching Rob and Big. Granted they are rich beyond belief....they have FUN! It drives me nuts to even be sitting here writing a blog on a Saturday night. I feel like all I do is school, sit at home watch tv, play games, surf the web, work on the weekend, go out the bars every once in a great while etc...am I missing something? Did I miss the life memo somewhere? I hate hearing, "so what have you been up to?" IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME FREAKING ANSWER! School/work. Same crap new day. Someday I'm going to graduate, work and not have free Saturdays and realize I wasted my life and I still have no idea how to turn it around!

Couple Movie Reviews

2006-11-16T13:52:00.000-06:00

John Tucker Must Die: This movie certainly had it's ups and downs. Acting was a little weak in certain areas. Language wasn't much an issue as sexuality was portrayed in a light hearted "everyone's doing it" sort of way. In one scene Kate gets made fun of for still being a virgin in highschool. In reality that should be something to be praised not made fun of. But such is Hollywood. Overall funny movie!

Monster House: One of my roommates wanted to watch this movie. I was aprehensive at first noticing it to be what looked like a kids movie. The film actually turned out to be an amazing movie! Simple plot line, no confusion and lots of action! Would def. watch again!

Scooter girl...

2006-11-08T16:02:00.000-06:00

So much has been written about this mysterious girl on campus. For those of you who don't know who I'm talking about, there's a girl on campus that rides on a razor scooter. Couple things stand about this particular person: no backpack ever, never seen her before until this semester, has groups about her on facebook, and lastly...SHE RIDES ON A RAZOR SCOOTER!!! There's something to be said about not caring what others think about you.

I'm happy about the democrats taking the house and possibly the senate. New blood might just be what we need, granted I don't agree with a few of their positions but you never know the good they might actually do us!

Suppose I should post one...haha

2006-11-07T14:04:00.000-06:00

Sorry Sam, also, I have no idea how to download the new blogger since it didn't tell me I could or I should lol.

I found this in a fortune cookie and it totally made sense! "The best prophet of the future is the past"

Chew on that for a while....

2006-10-03T15:38:00.000-05:00

Skype...wonderful program actually...talked to John Weaver today with it! He's in Poland for an international study program so it was cool to actually talk to him for free without paying international rates for anything...

2006-09-21T23:00:00.000-05:00

Pretty sure I just studied my butt off and got nothing but confused when I took the test....great....:-(

Man...

2006-09-13T15:56:00.000-05:00

I really want to go somewhere right now to get out of town. I'm not sure where I'd go and I know it'd have to be by myself...I don't do "by myself" very well...:-(

2006-09-07T22:31:00.000-05:00

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt

Amazing quote....

Wow

2006-09-05T18:45:00.000-05:00

So I was sitting in my car at the union about ready to get out and there was an EXTREMELY pretty blonde right outside of my car. She looked confused puting money into the parking meter. Funny part is...you don't have to after 5:00...'nuff said...HAH

2006-09-03T01:05:00.000-05:00

I need to get this outta my mind
This ain't no easy sleep away kind
Just everyday livin' tryin' to keep away from sinkin'
watchin' roomies as they be drinkin'
wonderin' what I want in this life
but only receivin' the strife of this life
duckin' from the curve balls
sittin' in these four walls
wonderin' where the door is
if only it'd just call
me, you, they
all apart of this life I say
to myself as I lay
countless nights wonderin' where it's leadin'
headstrong I courageously be headin'
anyway possible I be scopin'
in this life I be copin'
so with that i leave you this thing
promise me you'll swing
be part of the team
succeed in your dream

peace

Enjoyment of life...

2006-08-31T15:12:00.000-05:00

How much more fun would we have if everything we did was treated with excitement? If we were excited and full of curiosity, than even the everyday "blah" would seem amazing! That's something I want to work on. Whether it's studying Accounting or working on a project, I want to view it in a fun and passionate way. Now go and enjoy life!

Peace

Quote that spoke to me today.

2006-08-28T16:17:00.000-05:00

"Yes, there is a lot at risk when you take action. But don't fear the heartbreak that could happen so much that you never know the beauty of what might have been."

I need to heed the advice...

Austria

2006-08-28T14:28:00.000-05:00

I might POSSIBLY have an oppurtunity to get an internship in Austria next summer...how cool/fun would that be!!

speachless

2006-08-27T15:24:00.000-05:00

Went to the liquor store last night with a friend and saw a girl with a video camera. Even though it was her 21st birthday, I really don't think a video camera was a good thing haha. Made for a funny moment though!

I love deepness....

2006-08-23T22:55:00.000-05:00

"Maybe...happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all
those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can
appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives."

I got that in an email and i absolutely loved it! You never know who you're touching with your life. So instead of just figuring that you aren't, keep it up because there is definately someone out there you don't know of that looks up to you.

Peace

2nd day of semester

2006-08-22T09:46:00.000-05:00

So far so good! The 8:30 class I had this morning was pretty interesting in that the prof showed us a movie about cheating. "What's more important, honor or grades?" That brought up a few good questions. While most of the show was presented in a highschool, the last part took place in an Ivy League college. That truly is the question! What's more important? Grades or integrity? In most instances I'd say grades. I know this isn't the answer anyone wants to hear but it's true in today's world. Whether you're going into college or the work place, you either need grades or a diploma. If you want to get into a good college you must have exceptional grades! If you want to get into a good job you have to pass your classes. What do both scenarios have in common? Grades. Schools don't care that because you have integrity or honor you got an F or a D. Jobs don't care that the reason you don't have a diploma is because you refused to cheat. How can schools crack down on cheating and plagarism when the very reason students cheat is for the grade that the school system uses in the first place?!?! From what I hear, back a long time ago school was fun. Teachers made teaching with less pressure on grades and increased the fun in actually learning! Until you give students a reason not to cheat, reduce the pressure to get the right grade, cheating will continue and there is nothing anybody can do about it.

Peace

1st day of classes....

2006-08-21T23:39:00.000-05:00

First day of classes totally went well. I didn't realize how many people there were on campus until I was in a hurry to get back into my car...always when you're in a hurry everyone clogs the sidewalks lol.

I'm hoping this semester should be pretty easy! I have two Hospitality classes which I hope are easy. I had one today that didn't seem to bad. I have a family science class deal with Kelly Welch that is totally going to rock! Plus I SWEAR there had to be 1o girls for every guy in about every class I was in! I just have to get the guts to actually open my mouth and have words come out! Woop woop haha.

Night all...

Grace, why did you delete your account?

Confidence

2006-08-20T22:16:00.000-05:00

I need to find confidence. I'm so tired of fearing things.

On the upside I got hit on at Texas Star today. Reason for the "Confidence" part at the beginning is I don't have a flippin' idea how to get a number. Just ask? It can't be that easy...you would think girls would want some sort of different fun way of being asked for their number rather than just being asked or some corny pick up line. So I just wrote her a note and gave her my number instead. *Gulp*

If I can find my confidence that I have seemed to have lost somewhere back in the day...I really think I'll enjoy and love life a lot more...*looks under couch*

Peace...

Why?

2006-08-19T23:46:00.000-05:00

Why is it so hard for me to be social?

2006-08-19T10:01:00.000-05:00

Dell has decided to recall a bagillion billion <-----very large number....of their laptop batteries. Unfortunately I believe mine is one of them. I'm hoping it won't take years to get another one considering thousands have already called and informed Dell of their battery issue. Now I just have to do the same thing haha.

Hopefully today will be a good day. A friend of mine, Joshua Schumm, is back in town for the school year after doing missions stuff in Florida. Not sure what we'll do today but hopefully something fun!

I think it'd be kinda fun to have this huge readership (even a word?)! Than I might post more and beat Sam!!! Woohoo! Sounds like fun to me! Can't wait 'till you get here Sam!

'Peace

2006-08-18T12:39:00.000-05:00

I love rain....I could sit outside and use ALL 5 senses just watching it....yeah I know...I'm a nerd!

Bought 3 books yesterday. Two of them I saved well over 100 bucks buying them online! Woohoo go me!

I'm kinda wanting to get plugged into some college group of some sort. Chi Alpha is great and all but I dunno. It's the actually getting myself to go part that I struggle with. Than when I do go I'm too shy to have any fun anyways. A person my mom works with is heading up a college group at The Vinyard Christian Fellowship. Man, that brings back some memories of when I was small haha. I guess I get over being shy or I just deal with it...argh...

I've seemed to have lost my confidence...so if any of you know where that went please feel free to let me know! I'd greatly appreciate it!

Two more posts till 100....might be able to catch Sam if I post something once a day though...hmmm :-P

Themes...

2006-08-13T22:10:00.000-05:00

There are a few themes in life that I keep running into. They act more like non-escapable walls rather than just mental road blocks. Sometimes I just put face posters or "pretty" pics on the walls so I don't notice them for a while. Some of them are just so STUPID that it's beyond my minds recollection why I even worry in the first place. Girls, daily life, friends it's all sucking. I don't really feel like going into it right now but will later....peace

Story

2006-08-09T09:05:00.000-05:00

I was waiting for you to update first Sam! Sheesh...lol...jk

So yesterday at work I was talking to my manager and an older gentlemen named Charlie. Really cool guy. Anyways this really pretty girl was over looking at the butter. Charlie told her to get one of everything...man did she light up...HUGE smile! She preceded to go down another aisle and her shirt said "love stinks" on the front of it. Charlie made sure to ask her about it haha. This is what she said, "Love does stink sometimes, especially a lot right now!" I was sad because she seemed like a very cool person, yet I was angry because A LOT of girls feel that way. The jerks of the world ruin everything for everyone else! We start off in a hole dug by some moron who could care less!

I won't end on a sad note! I'm most definatelly going swimming before work today haha....so I'm outie...

Peace

SAM YOU BETTER UPDATE ALSO HAHA

ugh

2006-07-18T12:21:00.000-05:00

Myriah forgot about her softball game.....sooooo nothing ever happend....I'm done.....

Oh boy....

2006-07-16T19:30:00.000-05:00

*Picture this* I'm in my car, hot as crap outside, with the stereo blarin' and my AC on full blast. I'm headed to Rusty's to meet up with a friend from work and some of her friends. I decide to give her a call and see where they're at etc. I'm on the phone trying to make sense of who has to pee and who's still getting ready and my phone beeps. Call waiting is such an amazing feature these days...anywho...I check to see who else is call and low and behold it's Myriah! She lost her phone for what seemed like forever and now I'm getting a call. LONG chat short something about seeing a movie or hanging out lunges out of my mouth out of nowhere....next thing I know she's "up for anything" which is usually my fear of asking in the first place, the first response. So before I know it I've totally forgotten about Brandy on the other line and I'm doing "something, anything, who knows" with Myriah tonight in about an hour. Date? No date? NO CLUE!!! Nervous? Yes Should I be? no, i've known her for a long long time! Totally thinking about going over to Grandma's....maybe a movie???

Peace

P.S. Where's Sam when I need him...?

2006-07-14T12:09:00.000-05:00

*sigh* I love slow mornings. If it were feasable to wake up really early and just sit outside and read I'd do it every morning! Working 1-10 has it's pro's and cons. I'm the closing manager on these days, that's always a good time (unless i'm bored out of my mind after facing dairy a hundred zillion times) , I get to sleep in, and my most favorite is being able to sit outside under the porch and just relax! My new ESPN magazine, which really isn't that new considering the dust collection on top, was a fun read outside this morning. Speaking of which I have a complaint! According to the mag I can obtain "insider" info for free since I'm a valued customer. Aka subscriber. So shoot, I like free so I went online to receive my free goodies only to find out that signing up will automatically renew my subscription for $29.95. For one I went on eBay years ago and got a 3 year sub. for 2 bucks. For two, why pay $30 when they are always coming out with specials? Argh....

I'm excremely excited to mention I've ran across an EXTREMELY old friend of mine. No, no she's not quite as old as my dad...sorry bad joke....but my first best friend back in pre-school through the 2nd grade. I know, lame but she was the girl I always hung out with EVEN though she had cooties! I'm sure we all remember those years when girls were infected with some unknown killer virus called "the cooties". I guess I never accepted that theory considering I LITERALLY just sat in a huge tractor tire with her every recess and just talked. Maybe that's where I get my passion for one-on-one bonding time? My ability to listen and love. So thank you Lauren for being YOU. You'll probably never read this but I'm thankful for you anyways!

Sam is coming into town late August (I think that's the date lol). Even though he and Grace are the only ones that read this (time to comment if you aren't either of those two and you read this haha) ! Anyways long story short I'm tweakin' my pool game since Sam seems to be doing much better! Sorry Sam..no easy wins when you come back!!!

Peace

2006-07-10T14:23:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted a blog in forever! Been busy trying to fix my laptop and working a lot! Saw a few movies lately. Superman, the new Pirates movie and The Hills Have Eyes. All three weren't too bad. the Pirates movie was a little bit too long and confusing but still fun to watch.

blah...

2006-06-29T00:18:00.000-05:00

So my laptop is acting up. Richard helped it out a lot by changing some programs around and stuff....however it's still sluggish....computers I tell ya....

Work is starting to suck....same crap new day is starting to become alarmingly true...just gotta keep it in perspective and why i'm doing this....

2006-06-27T11:10:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the comment Grace. You can seize the day in whatever you do, whether that's work or play. But I dunno. I don't want to "wake up" and realize all I ever did was work and go to school.

Life...

2006-06-26T23:45:00.000-05:00

You get one life....that's it.....you're young once, that's it....I'm seriously worried that someday I'll wake up and realize I've wasted it...what do I do?

Peace

2006-06-25T11:02:00.000-05:00

I'm so glad it's sunday! I'm sitting outside on my laptop, cool breeze, sunny, not too hot....ahhh...the life....*knocks on wood*.

This is going to be very random. I'm trying to get in the mood to post today haha. Have any of you watched The Hills on MTV yet? For some reason I LOVE this show! Maybe because it's fun to watch these super rich amazingly beautiful girls face "real" life. Granted they have a jillion dollar apartment paid for them etc...but they have REAL jobs! Some of the daily routine stuff they face, to them, is crazy hard. Anyways, good times good times...

Work is good...getting right at or close to 40 hours a week! I'll be able to pay off my credit cards, buy stuff for my apartment and be able to save up some for the next upcoming semester! Woohoo!

I've been reading a few books on the Freemasons...VERY interesting stuff! LOOK IT UP!

I'm outie....peace

2006-06-16T22:49:00.000-05:00

What to do when you don't fit in the mold. I hate parties because i'm not that type...I stand there wishing I was, knowing I'll never be, and I go home defeated. So....there goes anything the college social life is known for. I hate big crowds of ppl at a social event, I'd rather talk one on one and really get to know someone. I'm scared of rejection from anyone which makes me quiet and not outgoing. I feel like I'm not supposed to be here....so where the heck am I supposed to go? Nobody seems to really click with me....my heart longs for something great but I'm not seeing it...haven't EVER seen it...who's to say I'll ever get it?

Current mood: HELPLESS/HOPELESS

It's been a minute...

2006-06-13T10:25:00.000-05:00

Sorry everyone it's been awhile. Nothing really eventful has happend since I was in San Antonio. Work is great...I'm getting 40 hours and get a few weekends off a month! Seems like all I do is work and play...can't really complain much! Oh and give Brandy CRAP all the time...right punkin??? haha...

It's all good minus the fact Sam is no longer here!!! Punk...:-P I really miss him...

I have Alltel now instead of crappy cell one. I love it! Same number tho so call me sometime lol!

Anonymous Poster...

2006-05-23T12:23:00.000-05:00

Hey whoever you are! Thanks for reading and commenting! Feel free to make yourself known :-). Will post more pics tonight after work...

Peace

UPDATE:

Thanks for the comment miss "Texan" I know very well who you are! :-) I'm talking about the comment made on May 14th-" Your are Nice. And so is your site! Maybe you need some more pictures. Will return in the near future." That person :-). Miss you Mel.

Ooops

2006-05-18T14:56:00.000-05:00

I meant to update last night but didn't. I got too caught up in the book I bought to read on my vacation, "In Cold Blood" by Truman Capote. Amazing book thus far. I saw the movie, Capote, but It seemed to have left a lot out. Anyways...hopefully I'll make time tonight to post some more pictures! Hope everyone is doing amazing!

Peace

San Antonio Vacation Day One...pics

2006-05-16T19:02:00.000-05:00

The river walk is amazing! Tons of restaurants, bars and even a Mall.

Pic under one of the bridges on the river walk.

Boat we rode on. They tours of the river walk. It was actually really
interesting.

Place where we bought the tix for the tour.

Irish Pub.

Front of the Mall on the river walk.

Another picture of the front!

Cool catholic statue.

Very front of mall. Says "Riverfront".

Baby ducks!

Old building outside of our hotel. My dad said something
about hearing of that company many years ago???

River Walk.

Old Church...

Cool skyline!

Awesome restaurant!

2006-05-15T19:57:00.000-05:00

Yay...tinted windows

2006-05-14T12:47:00.000-05:00

Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I'm going to San Antonio Texas and will update frequently there!

Godspeed...

JEEZ!

2006-04-25T12:43:00.000-05:00

So anyone have any idea what the heck is going on with gas prices? I know during the summer they jump but almost 3 bucks a gallon? I also heard the other day that hotel rates are averaging $100. I don't know who "they" is haha but are "they" trying to kill the vacation trade? Economy is def. going to suffer. I haven't noticed an increase in price really at wal-mart or Rays Apple Market or Dillons or anywhere else for that matter. I would assume however that the long the price is up, the better chance for pricing on everything to shoot up due to shipment cost increases and the like.

Spring break pics...

2006-04-24T13:51:00.000-05:00

Sorry it took so long to get these up...

Sorry it took me so long to get these up!

Trip to zoo...

2006-04-23T15:55:00.000-05:00

So I really like this picture I took at the zoo. I'm not a good picture taker by all means but I loved the colors and quality of the picture. Cool little Poison Dart Frogs!

I'm not a big fan of Kansas. Probably just because I've lived here all my life. But sometimes I'm in awe of what Kansas really is here in the North East corner. Actually very pretty. Notice the blimp thing...wonder what that was for...?

Forty-Five year old bear. One of the oldest bears in captivity.

Wasn't the best Bald Eagle I've ever seen...still had the "majestic" feeling about him...

Baby monkey! Mom had to go outside to investigate some noise so I thought it was the perfect time for a shot!

Nice...

2006-04-21T13:39:00.000-05:00

How can I try so hard and fail even harder? Why is it the second I take a small break...that break comes back and kicks me in the butt...I'm so close to just quiting...studied hard for an accounting test...didn't even get a 40%...saw stuff on that test I've never seen or heard of before...BS.....did a little better on the MIS test I didn't have time to study for...still a big fat F. I know in my heart I'm not a failure but the notion that I'm becoming one is slowly creeping over me. I pretty much know I'm re-taking atleast one class. I might change my major over to Hotel Restaurant Management. Those classes atleast seem interesting. I have no drive anymore for this semester. The only thing driving me is how I'll feel about myself if I fail everything. I don't even have time to go to Chi Alpha. I get to the point where I just say screw it. All I see is the dark tunnel....no light behind me...no light infront of me...

Peace

Quick update...

2006-04-13T16:49:00.000-05:00

*picture in your mind*....guy walks up sets down a bunch of candy, his head swaying back and forth...obviously has a medical condition...I ask him how his day was and all of that which I really do mean....he says he's buying candy for his grandkids....head still swaying almost out of control...he pays...walks out the door heads to a van...places sack in a seat and gets in....starts van...drives off....ISN'T THAT SCARY!!! I feel bad for the guy, it's awesome what he's doing, buying his grandkids candy and spoiling them...but the guy can't keep his head under control and he's driving a mini van!

hah...

I just don't get it???

2006-04-12T09:42:00.000-05:00

I'm very glad she came to me and wasn't sugar coating anything. I really honestly am. I hate sugar coated crap, waste of time for both people.

However...

I don't understand how I am selfish by not working on my day off...

Puting school above work...(unless i'm getting paid 40k to work at Ray's I think college is a little more important *wink*)

Being blamed for someone choosing to work for someone else....

I just don't understand.

Brandy isn't mad at me..."to your face" as I was corrected by Jessica.

Is that how the world works? Hug you when you are there and stab you when you turn around? I really don't believe most of my friends are like that. "Innocense until proven guilty" I live by that on a daily basis. One thing is for sure, there are two friends in this world I know beyond a shadow of a doubt love me and care about me...Isaac, Trenton. Some say that's all you need, one good friend. But i'm out to change lives not just stick with a few. Trent's always going to be my boy. That'll never change.

I don't pretend to be holy. Infact it's that goody goody persona that kills me because I've slidden back from it. I want to be seen how I am good with the bad than not seeing the bad and showing fakeness. I get drunk sometimes...I have a problem with my mouth...I'm insensitive to certain things I shouldn't be. Stuff to work on...we are all a work in progress. I would just like to know who is real and who is fake. Does Brandy stab me in the back when I turn around? We all do it sometimes. But if you do it, know it, and don't care it's when it hurts and matters the most.

2006-04-10T16:15:00.000-05:00

Who doesn't have Myspace would probably be a better question than who DOES have it. During the afternon break between classes I was surfing the net and ran across a few video cuts on Myspace. I believe it was Dateline that ran the show on Myspace. Anyways a lots rape/murder cases have been linked to Myspace. Being somewhat in disbelief I kept watching. A detective posed as "Matt". A normal 19 year old college guy, new to town and was looking for friends. Before "Matt" knew it he had over 100 friends on myspace. He seemed to connect with 3 young girls. After talking with them for a few weeks and getting information that they willingly gave to him, he contacted their parents and set up an interview. Long story short, neither of the girls realized just what information they gave up. Something as simple as what school you go to, team you play for, name, city can lead any predator to you. "Matt" the detective explained that sites like Myspace are heaven for online predators because they can be anyone they want to, connect with millions of people, and what used to take months of chatting online, the info they crave can come in a matter of days! Moral of story: Be careful what you put online!

I finally did it. I shouldn't have, but I've heard a lol about Mlb.Tv online. So yesterday I bought a month of service for $14.95. So now I get every baseball game (Unless it's blacked out) and can watch them online. I know, I already get every game on the radio with XM...but like I said..I really wanted to try this out! So far it's amazing. Video quality isn't great but not poor. You can watch whole previous games and games from last season etc. Pretty sweet for $15 bucks!

2006-04-09T22:19:00.000-05:00

Sorry for anybody that reads this. It's been since spring break since I've posted anything. I guess I haven't had anything happen worth my time to post.

Just got done watching Capote. It's a def. rent for anybody. I didn't know anything about him due to not reading his books or learning about him in classes or anything. I don't even know what to say. I guess I'm in a speechless mood about the whole topic. I might pick up In Cold Blood and give it a read. I've been told that I need to.

Softball game went alright tonight I guess. I hate losing, but it was def. more fun than that game the other night when the wind was blowing really hard.

School isn't going good. My advisor didn't want me to take all these hard classes all at once but I guess I didn't have a choice. So I may have to retake a few next semester. I'm signed up for Kelly Welch's class. I don't need it but it sounds really interesting and have heard really good things about it. I could use a good grade to get my gpa back up.

Nothing new...kinda lonely...

peace

2006-03-24T16:35:00.000-06:00

I’m not real sure how to start this. Last night at 4am, while trying to get to sleep, I had this all written out in my head. Life is a funny thing sometimes. Just when you are getting burnt out on it, something comes along and stirs up the little kid in you. Adventure, excitement, laughter, newness, and most important FUN! Notice adventure was first on the list. What was going to be a routine road trip wasn’t. That was just what I needed.

Sunday night I felt like crap and wasn’t planning on leaving Monday night after work with Trent to Wichita. Monday I called in sick to work. I wasn’t going to go on this trip at all. I didn’t feel good, I didn’t want to be stuck down in Oklahoma sick. But I said screw it! I’m going. That begins the small but very rewarding trip that I learned so much about myself on and will never forget.

The formula was simple. Place + means to get there + fun + n!ot knowing what you’re doing = life altering adventure.

We went to this Omniplex place which was a blast. There were lots of stations where you can manipulate things and learn the science behind them. Normally I’m not into doing things like that but they turned out to be a fun experience.

I don’t think Jess or Trent understand what I accomplished. I wouldn’t paint my hair, get a fake tattoo or any of that stuff at the NBA game. But I didn’t care, I had already climbed my Mount Everest. Met Sammy and was just me around her, opened up to Jess and really enjoyed her company. Trent was on his first vacation on his own away from his family. It was fun to see his eyes light up when we did whatever we wanted. He turned into a little kid amazed with everything. Like Trent, we all did. We all accomplished inner goals that continue to mold and shape us. Even though I’m on my way to KC with my family, I can still live my life to the fullest just as I did these past few days. I’m going to try it. Who knows maybe it will change the way I live and I’ll be better for it!

Thank you Trent and Jess…..for being you.

Time to go! My adventure awaits….
Riggz

2006-03-19T00:42:00.000-06:00

Lonely...I just have no desire to be crazy and outgoing therefore I sit here on the couch with my beer and an intense lonely feeling. It's nobodies fault, I don't know that it's even mine. Why can't I just be normal and be social? Being shy=fear=my life....

2006-03-13T21:14:00.000-06:00

As of today starting August 4th I will be living in1410 Hartman Place #16, aka Chase apartments. Yes! I can't wait!

2006-03-09T10:46:00.000-06:00

How do you live a life with no regrets? At the time, you don't regret the decision you made, however later in life you do or might. I wish I could figure that one out.

Chi Alpha was pretty good last night. Don't really have a whole lot to say about it 'cept the cheeto thing was def. interesting...glad I didn't volunteer for that one....ICK.

Hopefully work today will be ok an no stupid freezers go down.

I can't stop being sad! I'm pretty sure I hurt someone but I couldn't help it. I just hope it works out ok....

Peace...

2006-03-06T23:18:00.000-06:00

RIP Kirby Pucket....Amazing Player and Better Person.

2006-03-04T22:48:00.000-06:00

Do you do something you are hesitant to do in hopes of having a good time? Or do you do what you are somewhat enjoying now? Do I go out with a bunch of people I've never met, be quiet and shy and all that mess....or stay home by myself in my room watching a movie? Watching a movie right now just seems like a waste of a weekend because after tomorrow I'm back in classes and work.....blah

Ouch

2006-03-04T01:07:00.000-06:00

I know you'll read this, you comment sometimes. But I can't just keep this inside. Why is it a lot of the things you say come across as a personal stab to the heart? I don't want to not like you. I hate not liking people. It's not me, who I was made to be, and I just simply can't stand it. It seems like you use little comments to just shoot me. I don't even know if you mean to do it or not. However the number of them is increasing so I can't help but think you mean it sometimes. You tell me not to feel dumb and then you make a comment. You seem to know everything and tell me when I'm wrong every chance you get. Yet sometimes you make an innocent funny comment. I don't understand. It's like you hate me and then you don't. Your attitude is such that you need NOBODY. Because I DO care about you that hurts. It hurts because it's driving me away. Away to the point where I try not to care. If your back hurts I don't want to hurt for you. When you mention something in your blog that is sad and means a lot to you I don't want to care. Basically no matter what happens to you I want to be neautral and not give a flying flip. But I can't! Even if I never dated you I'd still care about you! You get online so I ask you about your post. You won't tell me anything...that's fine...your choice...than you add in a comical way that kevin hates my dad. I'm sorry but that was probably the worst thing you could have ever told me and the worst timing in the world. I don't get upset and visually show it. I don't get upset and let people see it. But when it comes to my family I'm ready to go! Sure I'm all upset over this...he'll get over it tomorrow...BUT THIS IS HOW IT FEELS RIGHT THE **** NOW!

Everybody reading this....this is why I'm shy....why the heck should I come to XA, open up to get stepped all over...feel like I'm being used and just get hurt? Same applies to classes, parties, get-to-gethers anything social. Personally speaking...it's when I open up I get shot. I don't know if anybody will ever realize how much they mean to me. It's very hard for me to express that for obvious reasons. If I know you I care about you deeply whether you hate my guts or you're my best friend, I've known you for 2 seconds or I've known you all my life. All I ask is that you please try not to hurt me....

Peace

Everything I've learned I learned from...Misty??

2006-02-28T12:10:00.000-06:00

I was just outside enjoying my newly aquired XM Myfi. For those of you that are new or have no idea what I just said, XM=Sat. Radio, Myfi=Portable Sat. Radio Receiver. As you all are very observant, it's NICE OUTSIDE so I figured I'd put off my studying, sit outside and listen to some tunes. Than it hit me...you remember in elementary school or highschool in the rooms the teachers always had that poster up that went something like, "Everything I've learned I learned in Kindergarden..."? Well everything I need to learn I can learn from my pup Misty :-).

Naps are no longer a "waste" of time/day, heck nap all day and relax!

Never think that today is just another day. Be curious and excited about the little things.

Use your nose! Enjoy your sniffer! There are many great smells out and about (few bad as well :-P).

Don't be shy! Be very outgoing and friendly. When you get hurt, hurt for a minute than TOTALLY forget about it and go lick errr...say hi to the next person!

Don't take life too seriously. Enjoy it! Perhaps another nap?

Be excited about going for a walk. It's incredibly nice out there!

Last but not least...it's 11:30 and you have an 8:05am class. While you should be sleeping...it's the PERFECT time to play!!!

2006-02-26T22:05:00.000-06:00

I haven't updated in a while...sorry about that. I guess I haven't had much to really talk about. Last friday Trent, Cendrique, and I (hows that for proper English! haha) went to Chase and signed up. I guess they are going to call us sometime this week or soon when they find an apartment and we'll sign the lease and everything's all gravy. "Dam* Riggs about time!" yeah yeah I know I know....you can all stop saying that now! haha...Part of the reason I was going to go to school down in Florida was to be on my own. Since everything there fell apart now seems like a good as time as any. Besides...if I fall on my face i'm 10 mins from home. I'm not leaving home because of anything bad or whatever, I just wanna be out of the house...and like I said...any problems come up, I still have home to come to!

A friend e-mailed me and asked me a crap ton of hard questions. Sorry haven't had time to e-mail you back. But here was one that stood out to me. In essence he asked if I was serving God with my life, giving etc...my answer to that is actually pretty simple. Yes, and no. Yes because I still believe in him and am trying to live right. No because I basically hit the breaks, stopped everything and am piecing it all back together. Going to a Christian school has it's pro's and cons. I was forced to write papers, essays etc, do tests, debates, memorize scripture and all the above. Problem with that was, you just regurgitate(sp?) everything they want you to and you pass the class. For one, who's to say the author or the teacher were nec. right? I also got burned out doing journals every day, reading the bible then writing stuff about my life and getting a grade for it. So basically I'm trying to piece all of what seems to make sense back together, while going to school full time and working. Another thing, I hate living in fear of what everyone else thinks or sees in me or about me. I asked my mom one time if she ever felt like she was on a stage and people were examining her and scrutinizing what she said and did and when something she did didn't add up as they saw it, they jumped all over her. She said no. That, to me, was really odd. All my life I've always had to live up to this code. The teachers couldn't see me make any mistakes, no pastor could think of me as anything but the good guy I am, or wanted to be. Parents always trust me which brings responsibility. No room to fall down and get back up again! The major reason I'm so shy is because people generally know me to be that way. The more opinions I have and come forth with the more people disagree and label me. Why give someone the chance to hurt me? Just keep my mouth shut, if someone is genuinely ineterested in meeting me they will come over...it hurts, it sucks but seems to work.

I'm starting to see just how crazy this world can be. This month most of my friends are being and doing some REALLY crazy stuff. Getting knocked up, rushing to get married. You don't talk to someone for a little while and all of a sudden they are pregnant and married will give you a little shell shock. One friend in jail for Indecent liberties with a minor, another out on bail for same thing and might serve up to 5 years in jail. Another friend just found out his g/f was pregnant. ALL THIS FRIGGIN' month!!! Kinda just puts you on guard when all your friends are getting picked off around you. Trent and I were talking about this the other day. It's like we are in a war, a bomb goes off by us and everyone we are with were blown up but us...in a blink of an eye it's all different. You think tomorrow will be no different than today....you make plans for all our busy "stuff" and before you know it, it could all go away. God says in James not to worry because we don't even know what tomorrow brings. Pretty deep line that you don't think about until you really realize how true that statement is.

"You want to be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling.That's true greatness to me. - Elizabethtown

Better get some sleep....

Take it easy...

Riggz

2006-02-17T13:35:00.000-06:00

Since I FINALLY have a little free time, I may try and re-vamp my blog. New background, layout...who knows...I do know some html now thanks to my MIS class! This week has been incredibly INSANE!!! I've never studied like this my entire life. Plus, while saying that, I didn't have time to study really for my calc test that I TOTALLY bombed beyond belief last night. I'm hoping for a few points atleast....

It is so cold outside...:-(....My face was burning walking to class. Half the people you couldn't see due to them having almost their whole face covered...wish I had that luxury lol.

What to do tonight....I could so go for another Blue Moon at O'malley's....

2006-02-14T21:30:00.000-06:00

So I think this is def. the worst week I've had in a LONG while. Three tests, quiz, and a project all due this week. *sigh* no fun...

I got to thinking about a post a friend of mine made. She quoted someone saying something to the effect that the way your day goes is only as good as what you put into it. Basically I took that to mean that, you can have a good/bad/exciting/amazing/horrible etc. day based only on what you put into that day. But do you ever consider the variables that play into it? Of course it's your choice on the attitude you have. But really, working today....how is that fun or how in the world can you make that fun? Juggle canned peas??? Taking a test today...WOOHOOO maybe I can tap the person in front of me to piss them off and try not to get caught...dun dun duuuuuuuun....exciting....no...no you can't...how do you turn everyday blah, into excitement? You look at the Olympic contestants and notice that they love what they do. Doing 360's and going airborne for what seems like forever! People that go exploring in the mountains, or people that find new species of whatever or plants or I don't know. It always seems like everyone else has a better life, more fun, more chances than yourself. I don't know how to put more into a day that seems to have been spent before it even started! Tomorrow for instance, have class at 8:30, 10:30, 2:30. I'm going to spend a great deal of time before, and after those classes in the Library trying to get my web page project done. Than after that I might go to XA since I haven't gone in forever and everyone keeps saying that the last one was SO AMAZING!!!!! Than I'll skip out on hanging out with anyone because yet again I have a test to study for...than I'll put my dog in bed with me....go to sleep...wake up at 7:15am on thurs. and start all over again. What can you add when it's all played out for you? I could skip tomorrow and miss nothing....There's something wrong with this picture.

2006-02-11T13:40:00.000-06:00

Last night was a blast! Def. had fun going out to aggieville with a bunch of people I haven't seen in forever! Blue Moon is most def. better than Bud Light. Thanks Loph!

Katy....DANGIT JOHN!!! haha...

Step outside of your comfort zone
Maybe she’ll stay a little while
All you gotta do is shed a little smile
Sometimes a little goes a mile....
I can’t I won’t I’m not good enough
What good is a smile?
All she’s thinkin’ is a smile would go a mile...

Walking in the masses
Hoping to make it to the classes
homework swallows her up
good grades is how she was brought up
there’s only one way to go and that’s up
creepin’ through the lonliness
tryin’ to live in holiness
all she’s looking for is a smile
that smile that’d go a mile

Step outside of your comfort zone
maybe she’ll stay a little while
All you gotta do is shed a little smile
Sometimes a little goes a mile...

-Riggs

2006-02-04T22:31:00.000-06:00

Finally got Mozilla Thunderbird up and running! Totally makes me happy! Well, last night was pretty fun. Just sat around with Jason and Brandy drinking beer and watching Band Camp, hilarious movie. Anyways...I was bored at work and found this writting that I liked.

Who can tell what a day may bring forth? Cause me therefore, gracious God to live every day as if it were to be my last, for I know not but that it may be. Cause me to live now as I shall wish I had done when I come to die. O grant that I may not die with any guilt on my conscience, or any known sin unrepentent of, but that I may be found in Christ, who is my only savior and redeemer. -Thomas Kempis

PEACE

2006-02-02T10:11:00.000-06:00

So I really have nothing much to post about. I took a quiz in Statistics yesterday that made me happy due to the fact it was extremely easy! Just got done with a test in Management Information Systems that wasn't too bad either. Although something bothers me. We were supposed to put our student ID number on the scantron. Well my ID card doesn't have a student number. So now I have to go to the card Id office place and get that looked at. Argh...

I'm learning HTML in my MIS class so I decided to try to try it out on here and see how it looks.

Mood/Thoughts

Somewhat happy.

Wondering how work will go today since it's a long day.

Wondering how Melissa is since she needed a friend yesterday.

Excited about moving out with Trent this summer!

FRUSTRATED! I've been trying to get Mozilla Thunderbird to work for 2 freaking days! I can send email out of it but I can't retrieve any new mail.

2006-01-22T01:32:00.000-06:00

I’m so sick and tired of feelin’ second rate,
don’t know why I feel this way maybe it’s hard for you all to relate,
my life that I live I must reiterate,
feels so second rate!

My flow is heavy and my rhymes are deep,
I’m afraid they may interrupt my sleep,
All my dreams feel so far away,
So much on my plate I feel I might go astray.

Life is a sport that’s why it’s called the game,
You must compete to obtain the fortune and the fame,
I want my goals to be real,
Nothing to just feel,
Life is more than fame,
It’s realizing that fortune and fame
are all the same
an illusion to defeat you in this game.

I’m so tired lonely and depressed,
But in my heart I know I’m loved and I’m blessed,
I was made for a purpose,
I hope someday that purpose will surface,
When it does I’ll laugh at what was lame,
Life truly is just a game

-Andrew Riggs

There ya go Brandy...an update...peace

2006-01-10T23:46:00.000-06:00

Has anyone ever stopped to think about the good things instead of focusing on the bad? I read an article in Guidpost at work that addressed this issue. Who's choice is it to have a good or bad experience? Who's choice is it to have a good or bad day? YOUR OWN! We all know this, but sometimes it's good to have a reminder. It totally got me thinking tonight....hopefully it will do the same for you!

Peace

2006-01-04T15:32:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here listening to my XM radio...I think you could almost not have cable tv and just listen to XM. eh...no...haha... I haven't just really sat down to listen to it in a while. I ALWAYS have it with me in my car...but never usually bring it inside to listen to music or whatever is on. It's actually a lot of fun to just listen once in a while. It's got old time radio shows, lots of dedicated sports channels, news channels....any kind of music you could like is on it....

Anyone going to watch the game tonight? I'm supposed to go to a friend of a friends to watch the game but I'm not really wanting to right now. Not sure what I'm wanting to do...right now I'm loving just relaxing at home, but I know later I'll get bored.

Peace...

2006-01-02T10:15:00.000-06:00

I don't wanna work!!! Don't you just hate it when you come back from not working for a while and have to back to work?!?! I have to work 12-9....yuuuuck...oh well...need the money...

Hope you all have a great day!

2006-01-02T01:03:00.000-06:00

it all went far too quickly when
we started our romance
we headed for the Broadway stage
before we learned to dance
naturally, we shared the fear
of being on a limb
and scared to stay while loath to part
we felt our feelings dim

ah me, well, now we're seperate
and will be for awhile
and then we'll try again, for love
remember its sweet smile
but this time well go slow and ask
before we go to bed
if we might try some artful grace
and dance awhile instead

-Hidden

Friend sent me that....pretty amazing what you can find when people write with their hearts. I LOVE this kind of stuff....

2006-01-01T12:02:00.000-06:00

Last night was a blast! Went to Aggieville for the ball drop and went to the bars for a little bit. Anyways....great times! Thanks Sam for coming and driving...hope the smoke didn't bother you too much...

Peace

2005-12-31T17:40:00.000-06:00

We are finally on our way home today! GOOD THING! I don’t know how much more of my family I can take...
So tonight is like the party night of the whole year and I’m expected to be at like 3 diff. ones but I really only want to go to one, YOURS KATY!!! haha...I’m not a huge fan of being with a bunch of people I don’t know. So if you read this and invited me over (Brandy) sorry but I’ll just go hang out with people I know. Don’t feel like getting sad either so Katy’s it is....
Stopped off at On The Border for lunch in Topeka. Really good food for those of you that haven’t ever eaten there. Anywho...I thought it funny that this group of older people, late 40's early 50's or so were so trashed it wasn’t funny. Or maybe it was...:-P
Hope you all have a fun and safe New Years!

2005-12-29T14:00:00.000-06:00

You gotta love the copy and paste function...due to the fact I’m on the road I can’t exactly access the net so I’ll just type this now and later at the hotel paste it on my site...sound good? GREAT!
I’m getting kinda excited about going to KSU. I wasn’t really wanting or planning on ending up there but I guess it’s where I’m supposed to go. Not complaining accept for the part that I can’t enroll ‘till two days before classes start. What kind of crap is that!?! Can’t change it...might as well not worry about it ;-P...
My parents love to just get out of town. They told me when I was little that I would understand someday. I think I’m beginning to finally get to that point. Hence all the posts about me wanting to travel and get the crap out of manhappenin’. Katy...wanna take me to chi-town with you??? PLEASE!!!! lol...
I’m reading CS Lewis’ book Mere Christianity. Great book if you haven’t read it yet. I’m sure DK has read it and can comment on it. Anyways...I haven’t finished it so maybe some questions will be answered. Is there a STRICT right and wrong? He talks about that issue a little bit in the beginning but I never really got what he was trying to say. I’ve always/beginning to believe that being a Christian is something that is personal. Obviously there are a few things that the Bible speaks against: sex before marriage, blasphemy of the holy spirit, etc. Everything else to me, stuff that seems "grey", is just between you and God. If you can’t get closer or praise Him through what you are doing then you shouldn’t do it. It has nothing to do whether the "bible says you can’t" or what someone says is wrong. Does that make sense to anyone? He also brought up a very good point. You can’t have bad without the good. For there to be "bad" there must be something good to base your opinion on. Make sense? Also, the bad things anyone does are have done to get something "good" in return. A bank robber doesn’t rob a bank just because it’s wrong or bad. He does it to get money, which to him is a good thing. Satan didn’t try and outdo God just because it was a bad thing to do. He wanted to be just as good or better...aka good result.
I have a degree now! I’m actually very excited about that! Granted it’s just an Associates in Arts from Highland Community College....def. something I’m happy about. This was something me and Trent were talking about the other day. Out of my senior class we are the only 2 that will be juniors. Everyone else either took 1-3 years off...taking 6 hours a semester, or just not going. Not sure if that’s sad or what haha.
Grace: (seems like I’m always writing you hah) Just curious about what part of the party thing you don’t understand. I don’t like just sitting there doing absolutely nothing...
Brandy: Thanks for the comments as usual! I might drop by and say hey...not sure what I’m doing yet. I kinda wanna hang out with Trent, haven’t seen him or really done much with him lately. His schedule is always opposite mine.
Dana: You getting excited?!?! Almost there! Keep waiting ok!
Everyone else: Have a happy New Year!!! Call me if you all are doin’ something!
Peace

2005-12-28T23:26:00.000-06:00

Hey Grace, thanks for reading and commenting on my site! I understand what you are saying.

Today was alright, went to topeka with sara, ate at On The Border than went to Best Buy and got National Treasure and Into the Blue with a gift card I had.

Tomorrow my family leaves for KC but THIS time I have a laptop and can totally get online at the hotel! YES!!! Not real sure what to say really. Me and Trent might got to this huge new years party...not really sure what I'm doing or if I even really want to go. If I'm driving I'm not drinking so I'd get really bored. Plus New Years is on Sunday...how dumb is that lol...out really late and then have to get up for church the next day? Might have to skip this one...hehe...

I've def. had the unique experience of getting to know someone. Extremely awesome in about all aspects. Doesn't it rock to really get to meet someone and find out that they are just amazing? So I know Rachel won't/probably won't read this, but if anybody ever has the chance to meet her....DO IT!!! :-)

So watching a movie on the way to KC tomorrow....hah...

Peace

2005-12-26T22:58:00.000-06:00

Yay! Jessica is feeling better! So we're going to hang out tonight so I was going to pick up some flowers or something, until she changed plans, decides to hang out with her friend and watch a movie at her house and I'm here stuck at home with nothing....again...another fun night....Riggs again is screwed....

Peace

bah humbug....

2005-12-25T22:02:00.000-06:00

So I have yet to figure out the funness of Christmas accept for the presents part haha. I see my family all the time so no real sentimental attraction to that part of the deal. I know later there will be. My aunt decided that we WERE having christmas at her house...well that wasn't ok with my family so we just didn't go. So basically I've been bored all day accept for going to the movies and seing Cheaper By The Dozen 2 with my parents. That was a great movie! Called Jessica at 1 today to see how she was....didn't answer so I left a message. No call back yet, not sure if I should call her or just let it be. I don't want to seem needy or a pest or anything. Just drives me nuts....

You ever wonder if churches use your emotions to get the result they are looking for? I went to my parents church last night and I was kind of noticing that. Whenever the pastor would get "riled" up the crowd would get more rowdy "AMEN, HALLELUJA, GLORY" etc etc...is that stuff ok? Why use emotions when people get caught up in the moment....

How do you show you want to be apart of someone life, yet not look needy?

2005-12-23T00:14:00.000-06:00

"pressing onward, pushing every hindrance aside out of my way 'cuz I want to know you more...." Where did that feeling go? Great song though....

Ok so I'm so done with stupid relationships. I want to just scream my brains out right now because i'm so freakin' frustrated. I tried to talk to her....but she just doesn't know. I don't understand how you don't know stuff like this. I know she has the URL to read this but right now I kinda hope she does.

"Were gonna have a party, turn the music up Let's get it started, go ahead shake ya butt"-Nate Dogg

2005-12-21T10:52:00.000-06:00

"tis the season to be jolly fa-la-la-la-laaaaa-la-la-la-la..." Yippee....Abilene....(sarcasm)...ick...

So yesterday was a total blast. Hung out with Trent for most of it. Shot some pool...kicked his butt like none other...ALWAYS a fun time hehe...later last night Brandy decided she wanted to go look at christmas lights. That's something that is never fun with the fam but with friends isn't so bad lol. There's this house out in Wyndom(sp?) heights that is like TOTALLY decked out with blue and green lights. It was pretty sweet!

Today is supposed to be the christmas party at work. Not sure If i'm excited about that or not haha. I'll have to get off work before I can really have any fun eating the food I don't have to pay for hehe.

Anyone know what a laugh is? I mean honestly...what makes a laugh happen? Are we the only "animals" that have the capacity to laugh?

Peace...

2005-12-17T14:03:00.000-06:00

So I was told it was time for an update...not sure what there is to update being that my life is just THAT exciting!

Went to game night last night and that was alright I guess. Went to Little Apple Brewery with Katy and had a crown and coke..yum...than went to Trents and hung out for a little while before we hit up a party. Just chilled there for a while and then came home.

This morning I had to go with my dad to Dara's (dude that owns Dara's Fast Lane) and help set up a pool table. Problem is the guy has 3 cats, AKA I couldn't breathe and my inhalor didn't help any...so off home I went....just now finally getting to where I don't have to struggle to breathe.

Thanks for talking to me Jenna....I really appreciated it...

Peace out

2005-12-12T23:30:00.000-06:00

Does anybody out there ever wonder what the heck we are doing in life? I mean come on...we only live ONCE! That's it...no more...no 2nd chances no rain checks no NOTHING. Of course we either go to heaven or hell afterwards but i'm talking about right this second. I'm not advocating that we all skip school, drop out of school, anything stupid like that but what are we living for? We use up so much time setting up our life for later that we totally skip the present. Does it ever feel like you are wasting so much time now just so you can live plush later? Nothing wrong with that I guess but I don't want to be 45 tomorrow and wish I was 21 again.

Current mood: lost and confused...

2005-12-10T01:58:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting in bed wondering what the heck is going on with my life. I'm debating everything I thought was true. My very foundation is crumbling and I don't know how to stop it. It's like I'm letting it happen because everything I thought to be true is being tested and I don't know what is truly the answer anymore.

This semester has literally rocked my world. It's challenged my faith like I've never had done before. What IS right? Who am I to tell what is right TO ME?

I'm going out with a very VERY cool girl! But I just found out last week that she doesn't have God in her heart. She believes in a higher being but doesn't feel the need for religion in her life right now. So basically I think that if she got creamed by a car she'd go to hell...or would she? Do you need to literally ask God in your heart to be saved? Isn't that basically expressing your belief in Him in the first place? So just believing would be enough right?

I've gotten drunk twice this month. I don't regret doing it! I get so tired of fitting into this mold that I just want to do what I want to do. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong to be a rebel for once? Isn't that part of the college experience?

I want the lifelong friendships, brother-like friendships, co-existance with people my age! But I can't have that and I want it so bad. My best friend is livin' it up. Girls he really doesn't want, booze he can't resist, drunk every other night.....and get this...he's my only option of someone to move out with next year. How amazingly awesome is that?!?! *sarcasm* So what am I supposed to do?

I have the some of the most quality friends a guy could ask for. They are just on another level than me. Sam is graduating and moving, Pat and Ryan are interested in everything I'm not....list goes on....

I just want to live in a way that I don't have to worry all the time. Is that ok? Is that something someone that knows me would frown on? Can I do that? Is that ok since i'm a Christian? I'M SO SICK OF THAT CRAP!!!! I'm in a friggin mf'in box! Why should I have to go through that?

I'm tired of being the good kid that never gets asked to go anywhere....gets looked at different and basically labeled a loser....

I went out to eat at chili's with my fam....lots of people were at the bar drinking and eating and having a good time. THEY ARE RELAXING AND HAVING FUN!!! Why is it I can't do that? Why do I have to base EVERY THING on what someone else would think of me? Screw this! I'm so tired of being on a stage infront of all these ppl watching me and when I mess up I feel like I'll get flogged or something. Why can't I JUST LIVE!!!

2005-12-09T10:54:00.000-06:00

Dukes Of Hazzard was a hilarious movie! Thanks Jess for bringing it over! You ever just have a good day? Skipped classes yesterday because I didn't feel like driving in the snow, had fun talking to a friend online I haven't talked to in a long time, played some poker online, work went by super fast and got to hang out some with Jason and Brandy, than Jessica till cough3amcough. Great times....

2005-12-08T12:13:00.000-06:00

Just let me in...show me how to get in....I'll stand out here forever...

2005-11-30T14:18:00.000-06:00

Well...some of the craziness for this semester is over. YAY!! I haven't had a whole lot to write about...hence...no writting...lol....I have a girlfriend now :-)....I had jun just hanging out with her till 4 am last night...*yawn*....;-)

2005-11-18T00:57:00.000-06:00

Today was alright I guess. One of my classes was cancelled so I saw no reason to go to the other one haha. Just hung out around the house till I had to go to work. Work was really uneventful. After work I took my car to the machanic's place to get it's oil changed and starter looked at. Parents took me to grandma's and ended up shooting a crap ton of pool as usual. I'm really starting to enjoy that game more than before. But for some reason I'm in my thinking mood. Where really I was there, but was concentrating on way more things than just the current events occuring in the room. But more of who I am, becoming, doing, etc.

They say to grab life by the horns and take advantage of every minute. Do we really do that? I know I don't feel like I do.

2005-11-17T01:02:00.000-06:00

ahhh...good times good times....went to Chi Alpha...not so much good times...pretty boring actually. After me, sara and onur (yes that's a name) went to Fast Eddy's and shot some pool. Onur is actually a really cool guy from Istanbul. He owns some toy stand thingy in the mall and is finishing up his business administration degree from KSU.

Still trying to figure out how to get out of the "box". Anyone wanna go with me to Chicago sometime? Maybe a long weekend kinda thing? I know it's really freaking cold there but hey, it's not Manhattan and could still be fun!

Peace...

2005-11-15T16:40:00.000-06:00

I've been informed of my negligence to keep up with my blog *cough katy cough*. So here I am again...back on the web with a new post...please hold your applause....

I'm so glad that grandma's pool table is fixed! It's driving me nuts though because I just want to go over and play on it like ALL the time! Like right now I want to be playing so bad lol.

I don't ever have anything fun or exciting happen to me so I feel like it's pointless to even write on this thing...I dunno........

sigh

2005-11-07T11:23:00.000-06:00

I don't know exactly what God is doing...I'll get to that later...

Sundays are always good days, unless computers fail to work and you sit on hold for an hour, or you look at your homework and find out that it seemed to double since you last looked at it, and a friend you've just met is having back surgery today and has a chance she may never walk again. But that's just the beginning....a friend of mine met this person online. Well, just being a dork I decided to talk to her on the phone so I stole his cell phone from him and just started talking...figured she lived you know...like other side of the country, I could be a dork and it wouldn't matter...WRONG...lol She lives in Olathe and is actually extremely cool! Thing is...her life at home REALLY sucks...she called me last night balling because her dad hit her...among other things. I told her she needed to get out of there and talk to someone...she said she tried before but after it was all said and done he's back. She doesn't want to leave because she doesn't want him to do anything to her mom and sister....It really hurts to think about all of this and it has to be a God thing because I basically just fell into it. Zach was on the phone, I grabbed it from him...and here I am, on my couch before work wishing,hoping, praying she'll be ok, surgery will go amazing and she won't have to live at home anymore...

Who likes to travel?

2005-11-05T00:00:00.000-06:00

Another day is a wrap. I always ask myself if I made the most out of the day when I'm laying in bed at night. Most of the time i'm not satisfied. I feel I have to have some sort of adventure or excitement in a day to make it a "satisfactory" day. Or days I make people happy, those work too!

I came up with an idea. College students spend a lot of money on alcohol every weekend. It's not hard considering a bottle of vodka costs 20+ bucks. My thinking is actually pretty simple. I'd rather travel than drink! Every weekend I could possibly spend 20 bucks or more on alcohol. Well if I save around that every week I could have a plane ticket pretty easily. Save some more I've got a car rental or a hotel room (some places I wouldn't need a car). Problem is I wouldn't have any fun unless I had people to go with me. Most of my friends would either rather drink, or don't have the money, don't want to travel, or don't want to save to go anywhere. I should probably just take the initiative and go but I totally think I'd have no fun by myself! It's more fun to get lost with friends! Adventures are meant to be shared. I guess the problem is, this hobby is usually enjoyed by more retirees due to them having money and time. How hard can it be to save up and find a time to go somewhere? We find time to drink and party...make weekend plans and hang with friends etc....Am I the only one out there that actually thinks like this?

"Are you who you want to be, this is your life...is it everything you dreamed that it would be..."

PEACE

2005-11-03T23:26:00.000-06:00

Life just hurts...K-state is royally pissing me the flip off! I'm just some stupid random number that they could care less about. Now I realize KSU isn't a small school. But why can't I get any respect as #498239473497 that will shell out thousands of dollars? Why do I get the runnaround, get my school loan cancelled because i'm not enrolled THIS semester....well no crap shirlock....I signed up for next semester you bunch of jack as*es....I feel like Rodney Dangerfield..."nooo respect..." I get enrolled, get an advisor all on Jan. 10th. Classes start January 12th...well I wanted to buy my books online..well looks like Varney's is getting my business whether I like it or not next semester...IF they flippin' have my books that I need. Now wouldn't that just be dandy....not having my books because it's too late...John said he'd talk to the Dean of Engineering...not sure what help that will be but I'm sure he knows people. Know anybody Sam?? haha...if so help me out would ya? PLEASE!!! I also signed up for a transfer student thing tomorrow morning that I'm not going to. I thought I'd get an advisor and all that fun stuff but I won't. I emailed Julie Katz...head person of the transfer students thing and she told me that transfer students get treated the same as new students and freshmen....thank you so much, i'm officially at the bottom of the todem pole even thought i'll be a Junior. Nice to know I'm lumped in with Freshmen...

On a good note...or bad one too....this girl at Rays today was soooooooooooooo stinkin' pretty! I was helping out some little kid that was trying to use his moms vision (food stamps) card and she just smiled really big at me :-) yay...made my night...too bad I have no idea who she is and will most likely never see her again for as long as I live. Story of my life...either taken, I'm at work, hurt too much and doesn't want that again....blah...

Peace...

2005-11-02T00:21:00.000-06:00

So my eye appointment went really well! All it was was my contact solution not liking my eye haha. Still not happy about missing classes though.
Shot pool with Ryan tonight. Got my butt beat bad! Had one of those nights where nothing would fall! Can't have too many of those or Ryan will get a big head...haha...Then we went over to Katy's and watched The House Of Wax. Whatever happend to Sam? Must have gotten caught up in his archery....

Fear nothing for the Lord is with me....

You hear that?!?
Stand back before I smash the Holy word in ya dome
packin' mad heat polished in chrome
Temptin' me to follow that path
i'm answerin' in wrath
no temptation has seized me accept what is common to man and i'm givin' a way to escape
my lyrical assassination with the Holy Word is my proof
watchu gonna do with my spiritual hollow point of truth?

outie

2005-10-31T22:53:00.000-06:00

Today was both good and bad. Good part was the subway my mom brought home for me for lunch....yum....the bad...well since I can't put any contacts in my right eye without it turning bright red, I have an eye doc's appmt. tomorrow at 11:45...which means skipping both classes that I didn't want to skip in the first place..."we're booked...." blah...

It's 11 o'clock and I'm totally not ready to go to bed, infact I'm actually starting to get really hungry so I think i'm off to get some food and watch a little tv...

PEACE

2005-10-30T09:04:00.000-06:00

*sigh* I love Sundays...church with friends, football, and relaxation! Can't get any better than that! Been doing a lot of thinking about alcohol and my past weekend. If I had to do it all over again I'd totally do it. I experienced it for what it was and will most likely never ever do that again. Had a nice "chat" with my mom last night about it. She doesn't want me to become an alcoholic and ruin my life. Heck, ruin my life and not become an alcoholic, either or sounds like no fun to me. I can't say I'm done drinking. Just won't in extreme excess. Time to go pick up Sam...

PEACE

2005-10-29T12:42:00.000-05:00

After watching that "teenage soap opera" Katy invited me over to play cards. But Sam and Jena had to go home early but oh well...it was still a lot of fun!

Ok...so last night was A BLAST! Went to Fast Eddy's with Trent, Joy, Sara, and Drew. Drew bought me a double rum and coke...kinda gross actually. Joy is freaking awesome and it was just a good time. Ever play pool slightly tipsy....ok ok...a lot tipsy...doesn't work very well....haha. I had to get drunk just once....very extremely weird feeling...kinda liked it...but not something I'll repeat anytime soon.

PEACE

2005-10-27T23:37:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting here watching a teenage soap opera...Everwood for those of you that were curious, pondering the curveball that life has thrown at me. The age of 21 is like a right of passage for all the alcoholic pleasure you may be seeking. For me, I'm not sure what "pleasure" it is that i'm seeking. I have no problem going out and having fun. Infact that's why i'm glad that I'm 21. Having a beer, drink, chick beer, whatever once in a while is totally ok. But i'm sooooo tired of being on this stage and everyone having the same goal..."lets get Riggs drunk!" Honestly I DO want to get drunk once. JUST once. But I don't want to do it with people I don't trust. I trust Trent just not the million other pot smoking alcholics that are going JUST to see me get drunk. I'm about to scream....so sick of it....

2005-10-27T00:04:00.000-05:00

Well today, err yesterday now... was my 21st birthday. It was pretty cool. Hung out all day at my house and went out to eat at Old Chicago and played some pool.

Gotta say that Bacardi Raz is MUCH better than Old Milwaukee Light....oh gosh that beer was soooo nasty...Derek...why on earth did you buy a 30 pack of that junk??? Oh well...

I don't know her very well but love the fact she likes to laugh and have fun....def. look up to that!

2005-10-09T14:29:00.000-05:00

Gotta love Sunday's! Sometimes I think they are a lot better than Saturdays haha. Finally got my PS2 back which def. means Madden online season has just begun! Don't worry Sam I'm not like SOME PEOPLE who play Halo too much :-P.

I have 33 hours of work next week. Not looking forward to that at all...def. looking forward to the paycheck though!

Not exactly sure what I'm going to do about this little predicument I might be in starting next school year. Long ways off I know. I'm seriously thinking about me and Trent moving into University Commons. I want to move out, and for what you get seems to be pretty reasonable. Well...now I hear something about Julie and Sarah wanting to room with us (4 room appmt). At first I'm not nec. opposed to the idea. I've known both of them for a LONG time and are both really cool. However I hate being looked at and judged for what I do so on the other hand I may not like it so much. Why does it seem like I'm being watched and critiqued for everything? I know God watches but other than Him. Sometimes I just wish I could make my own decisions not based on what other people think about it....hmmm

2005-10-08T00:03:00.000-05:00

So my day today wasn't all that bad. I figured it would suck due to having 2 doc's appmt's today. The first one, dentist, went well. I think I wrote about that earlier. Than later I had to go to the Eye Doctor. Well...for all of you 3 ppl that read this I have Keratikonis (can't spell that but sound it out haha) it's where your eye bulges out into a football shape instead of maintaining the basketball shape. Basically means I can't see out of my right eye accept for blurry colors and light. So I went to a specialist 3 or so months ago to see about surgery but he said that he wanted to try hard contacts on me first. 20% chance they'd work due to the bulging of my eye. What it does is presses down on that bulge bringing things back into focus. Long story short the hard contacts work but the one on my right eye really really bothers me so I usually just don't wear it. Well today I went in and he said my eye was getting a little better and had an idea to try. "Piggyback it" as he called it. You take a non or very small prescription soft contact and put it on first...than put the hard one on and you can't feel the hard one. YAY! PLUS it made the vision out of my right eye better! How cool is that?

2005-10-07T10:52:00.000-05:00

"So have you ever had any cavities?" This was asked after the X-ray of my teeth. Does this sound scary to anyone other than me? First of all she had the x-ray right in front of her. Secondly, I would probably have a cap of some sort on my teeth if I have had. She was really nice though! haha

2005-09-28T23:48:00.000-05:00

Who reads this? I'd be way more motivated to type posts on this thing if I knew people actually read it...

You ever get that "bad" feeling around some people? Like some are just worse than others by how you feel around them? Trent just went out with some people that I'm still feeling icky about. Scary thing is they both know me...

3 seconds to notice them....and 10 minutes to be depressed about them.....Sam has written a paper about them...argh

2005-09-07T12:15:00.000-05:00

Monday = Blur....